They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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