Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
