Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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