A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
