I bet he comes in French.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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