Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
