Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I could fuck to npr.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
