I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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