4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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