chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
