Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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