some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
