Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
