So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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