so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
