Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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