weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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