I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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