how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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