i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
