Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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