Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
