you guys were way drunker than both of me
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
