We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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