Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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