I think I am morally bankrupt
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize