My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
