hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
