I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
