he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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