he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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