Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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