dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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