Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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