I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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