Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
