tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
