After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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