yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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