honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize