We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
