I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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