I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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