Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
