Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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