spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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