One girl and one boy is just not enough.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We are two peas in an std pod
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize