Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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