He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize