is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
