one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
this is an emotional support booty call
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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