You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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