dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
