it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
