Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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