But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
