k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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