so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
