Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
