He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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