if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
