is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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