Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
