i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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