dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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