i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
