I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
